Circles, and Circles, and Circles

Something inside of me stirred,
It lifted its wings
And shook out the dust
And as it settled I began to fall apart.
Strings loosened their knots,
Joints dismantled,
And all began trembling as the floor rose to kiss my face.
I lay there between sweat and tears,
Between inhales and exhales,
Between saliva and lips.
The silence was roaring with whispering memories banging on eyelashes.
I never meant to bottle so much in,
I never meant to forget so much,
I never meant to push this down so far,
I never meant to unravel like this,
I never meant to hate you so much
But you make it so damn easy.
I lay there trying to remember what it was that awoke within me.
It was something more than a thought but less than a memory,
More than a wish but less than faith,
Somewhere between a reminder kissing a dream.
The word is hope.
Hope is what stirred and poured out my eyes,
It loosened the control and wrecked the stability
And I hate how much it’s begging me to forgive
You.
It’s so much easier when I do…
Until you wrap my nightmares around your shoulders
And say I made you cold.
It’s a tug from too many directions,
A demand from too many opposites
And a battle but no war to win.
Hope.
Hate.
Feathers.
Nightmares.
Circles,
And circles,
And circles…

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